Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
