What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
