I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
