The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
