i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
