ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
