"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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