the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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