K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
