It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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