The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
