Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
