its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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