I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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