I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
