yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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