spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
