So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
