i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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