we're blogging at a bar
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
