I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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