Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
