I need help removing her.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
