i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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