He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
