You made me cry and you don't even care
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize