using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
