If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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