I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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