I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
