I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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