I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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