he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
