I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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