It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
