I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
