Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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