we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
