Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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