we have officially lost it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
