All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I could fuck to npr.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
