Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
