The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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