Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
