I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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