Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
