***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
