It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
