its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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