my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
