he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
don't judge my taste in strippers
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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