I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
