All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
