He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
