Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
