It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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