Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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