One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
