I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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